Philautia is referred to as “Self Love“, which suggests: to love yourself or “regard for one’s own happiness or advantage“. The Greeks divided Philautia into two kinds: positive and negative.
The Positive Philautia is a natural form of self love; we naturally look after our own preservation and interests and there is nothing wrong with this.
While the Negative Philautia is purely selfish and seeks pleasure, fame, and wealth. It is a kind of self-love that may arise when we compare ourselves to others. In its corrupted form, it is a source of vice and misery, resulting in human beings basing their own self-worth on their feeling of superiority over others.
You must understand that, before you can love someone else, you must first love yourself. And self-love has to do with knowing who you are. It’s about knowing that:
You are more than:
- Just your physical presence
- What you’ve been through.
- What people say you are.
- What you even think you are.
You are made for MORE!
Below are ways to develop a healthy Philautia (Self Love):
1. Face the Facts
You must understand that you are a complete entity (soul, spirit and body), and that you are unique in a special way. You may have a scar/mole, plus size/thin, high melanin/albino or even be stuck with vitiligo, or a chronic disability etc. Whatever the case may be, you are not alone.
2. Find a Friend
You may have to confide in a true friend who truly understands what you’re going thru and can help ease your pain by empathizing with you. This could be a therapist, mentor or even yourself. Just make sure you share it somehow to one who would never judge you.
3. Fix your Flaws
We all have flaws. It may take time but its fixable, first be really honest with yourself to identify them, learn to accept them, face them, only then can you fight or fix them. Those unhealthy habits can wreck you so Fix it. Some might be formed out of revenge, laziness or in a bid to fit in. But in all, they can be fixed.
4. Flex your Fleece
“Fleece” means the wooly coat of a sheep. It not only keeps the sheep warm,wool is also useful to man after it is sheared and processed.
Now fleece here can be likened to your hidden potentials, talents or purpose with which you can use to both benefit yourself and influence the world around you.
Discover who you truly are, what you’ve got inside of you to offer to the world. Make a list of all your positive qualities, skills and talents. You will discover that your blessings override your flaws.
Never limit yourself in any way as you never know what you are capable of until you try.
Remember the Good Book says:
A mans gifts (not your physique, looks, etc.) makes room for him and brings him before great men.
No one is a dummy, ask Dr. Ben Carson. Once I saw a beaded bag made by a blind student in a special school and I questioned my sight. That was what motivated me to go into bead making.
Focusing on your strengths would enable you make an impact in life. Do not let the things around you define you. Let your pain be your driving force to succeed. Prove to those who may be looking down on you that you do not need their opinion to succeed. Be visionary, self motivated and stop trying to be Somebody else.
You are Unique, Smart and Talented! Be You!
5. Focus on the Faithful
Once you get it right here, the others will be an icing on the cake.
Have you tried all else and failed?
Try God, He is too faithful to fail!
Remember He made you, He knows you more than you know yourself. He knows the pain you’re going through, He knows it ALL.
Above all, He Loves you!
He knows when you’re rejected, downtrodden or heart broken/ Remember, He’s been there too. He was broken severally, but now He’s a Master at mending. He can mend your broken heart and make a beautiful vessel out of you.
Can you trust Him enough to fix you?
Can you trust Him to turn that your Test into a Testimony?
Can you trust Him to turn that big Mess of yours into a transforming Message that can be a source of hope to others?
Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you”
(The Bible: 1 Peter 5:7).